Birger Sellin is autistically handicapped. He cannot say a word. He has never attended school. No one taught him how to read or write. For many years he was considered to be mentally retarded, mentally deficient. Children beat him up, because he wouldn´t speak. Adults mocked him, because they thought he couldn´t understand them. No one was aware that he was exceptionally intelligent, that he had acquired amazing skills in his childhood and that he led his own intensive intellectual life. Then at the age of 17, something inconceivable occurs: Using a special method called “facilitated communication” Birger begins to express himself. In writing and by means of a computer. On august 27th, 1990 he types his first letter, an “a”. Then he types the whole alphabet down to “z” and finally: “birger, papa, jonas, mama.” Just two weeks later he types an entire sentence. It is the first emotion he has clearly expressed in his whole life. It´s directed to his mother: “i love you.” He now begins to write regularly. Things that were hidden erupt from him. He expresses his fears, his longings. In November, 1990 he reveals: “i long for death, for i am alone in my loneliness.” They are the first texts to be written by an autist about autism. They are texts of quite extraordinary strength. But it soon becomes clear that writing isn´t only a form of liberation for him. The more he reveals about himself, the greater the effort becomes and the more agonizing it becomes to squeeze out the words.